An Aromatic Affair

       Its been a whole year that I did not write anything for my blog. I am unsure of why because I always have so much to say and yet when it comes to penning it down, I go blank. Beginning of the year 2019 I saw some of my blogger friends rekindle their love for writing after a long break. That gave me a kick start to follow suit.

       So here I am , at the start of another new year 2019, as I look forward to creating many more memorable moments. While I have already embraced the new year with a cheer and surrounded by love I kept thinking on what should I write about to break my sabbatical from blogging. And as I travelled through the memories etched deeply, I thought about any significant changes that I brought about into my life in the last few years. And suddenly it dawned on me that the last 3 years I indeed developed a very intimate relationship. No! No! Don't get me wrong. I love my darling husband. Though the relationship did have elements of physical intimacy but it wasn't of the sort that would be called an " extra marital". This was the bonding I formed with all the various ingredients in my kitchen. The spices, the spatulas, the pots & pans, the aromas, skillets and the different recipes that I started churning out from my stove. It indeed stirred a deep relationship with Food! Something that I always took for granted. Earlier I never cared to know how tedious it might have been for my late mother to be thinking and churning 3 meals a day, every day for eons. For that matter I did not care what my maid cooked when I was working and living alone in a new city, as long as I had a good meal to savour. Nonetheless I never gave too much thought to the subject matter of Food. However it was when I had to face a paradigm shift in my living circumstances that I realized the importance of learning the art of cooking and being self reliant literally in all aspects. So one day ,there I was standing in my kitchen confused, with my baby who had turned three months old by then and wondering, " Will I be able to make anything decent enough to be eaten ever"? I looked at the angelic face of my little one and it was as if my worries melted. I said to myself if I dont try then what will I feed my baby when he starts solids. That one minute of fear was enough to trigger the effort needed to start learning and unlearning and ready to plunge into the kitchen with a renewed vigor.

        Henceforth whenever I would put my baby to sleep, I started searching for Facebook pages of home chefs and cooks. Now since I was somewhat a novice I wanted easy, uncomplicated, homestyle recipes and high on health barometer. I came across a few of them but I particularly followed #Archana's Kitchen very religiously. Her way of demonstrating every recipe was extremely easy, most dishes were home foods and a variety of cuisines from India and world. This was exactly what I was looking for so I started cooking when my little one would be asleep. Those days he would take longer naps during the day after a feed which gave me ample time to start my cooking journey. Every dish that I made was explained by the chefs in such a simple lucid manner that I followed the instructions to the T. It really helped because not only the dishes turned out delish but I also started putting my brains into presentation. Hence that lead to the start of food photography during the course of time. My husband was the best and also the worst critic. It however helped me immensely to improve my culinary skills. With each passing day and watching many such Chefs and their videos on Youtube, Facebook and eventually on Instagram, I got better and better. Friends who would drop by for a meal would shower so much appreciation and just by looking at them relishing my food, made me a confident person.

        Its been three years since the start of that journey and today I can proudly say I am a cook and a good one too😍😍😍. Cooking in a way became a channel of releasing the stress . Motherhood can be extremely overwhelming at times, but cooking kept my sanity intact. And then, to see the two most important loved people in your life devouring the food I made, gave me priceless moments of happiness. I never ever until today would have realized that cooking can make a person happy. My earlier assumption was cooking was a completely non value add task that should be ideally outsourced. Today I think I play music with the many ingredients in my kitchen to create an orchestra, a melody of different tastes, smell and plating. I have to admit here though, that I am a basic cook not a chef or a home chef. But when I look back and recall the transition from an absolutely " I hate to cook" kind of person to " I enjoy cooking" it gives me a sense of immense satisfaction and pride of where I am today.

    The best part is my husband started to join in my cooking and not just be a help but to churn some amazing dishes himself. As they say marriages are made in heaven! So are we two foodies at heart intertwined by great love for food, culinary skills and bonding in the kitchen.

Doesn't it sound like one big spicy story? Well yeah, indeed it is. A life full of spices and cocktails forever......Knock the wood!

Take only memories, leave only footprints!

             

      When I was single I would be complaining about not finding the right man to spend my life with , when I found one and happily married, I fondly recollect the memories and the luxury of doing all the things I used to do when single. Travelling being one of them. Though a lot of the travel I did was mostly impromptu plans and to escape the monotony of a corporate job. Eventually I loved experiencing new places, new people, food and my " me time". For that matter even taking off alone to Hauz Khas Village (Delhi) just to cover that one shop or spot I didn't, the last time I visited, is literally the person I am. Any new place and food fascinates me. I have travelled quite a bit with my friends and those memories are cherished even today and will be etched forever. So make the most of singlehood, I say! I had met some new friends through another rafting trip. They were not very close friends but good travel companions. So one fine day, we made an impromptu plan and headed to Chennai, South India on a cold Delhi winter morning and landed on a hot and humid Chennai December for a vacation in Pondicherry.

                   
      To reach Pondicherry you have to book a Taxi or private cab which takes about 4 hrs to reach from the airport. The Pre paid Taxi services were economical, comfortable and safe too. We headed for our hotel straightaway which was located in the famous French colony.
     
      The French colony of Pondicherry is a small town built in a classic French architecture and with its unique old world charm. There are many hotels and motels available for lodging, ranging from budget to luxury. I had pre booked a budget hotel with basic amenities and facilities and it suited our pockets well. The colony itself is a one whole day tour with many restaurants serving Italian and fresh sea food along with the choicest of wines. The sea side was a place to swear by. There was a long walkway alongside the sea and glittery small restaurents on either side. The view is breathtaking at sunrise and sunset. In between it is extremely hot so early morning or sunset is the best time to visit.

A local fruit vendor

     

French architecture at the colony

The other most significant place of visit is the" Matri Mandir" or Auroville ashram which in itself is an experience of a life time. Since we were highly recommended to visit this temple by our hotel staff, we made our bookings for the next day. It took us approximately 2 hrs by car to reach the premises of the mandir. Upon reaching we had to do some formalities like registration, buying food coupons, viewing a short documentary on the history of the temple. It was then that we realized this temple had an inbuilt Ashram which was spread across hundreds of acres of land. To book a stay at the Ashram was almost a 6 months of waiting time. This Ashram is a complete detox stay where not only one has to meditate, eat simple food, wear simple clothes but also it is a complete 'No Gadget' zone. So if you are looking for a get away from the hum drum of a busy life and desire complete peace, this indeed is one of the places to visit. We had our lunch at the huge cafeteria which was right at the entrance before one embarks towards the Matri Mandir. Food is cooked and served with a smile by the volunteers of the Ashram who belong to diverse nationalities. It was mostly European and South Indian cuisine and simply outstanding in taste. The walk to the termple was a midst a man made forest. There waas silence throughout. Nobody spoke much. I guess everyone was soaking themselves in nature. The temple from the outside is a huge golden globe with carvings. No camera's or cell phones are allowed here. Infact there was no connectivity at all. The interior of this meditation temple is something that can only be felt and never explained in words. Light came through a small hole of the huge rooftop, illuminating the entire room with a light so heavenly in feel. There was pin drop silence. We sat there for some time and left in a state of trance.

An Italian eatery in the French colony

We walked through the lanes alleys visited some of the beaches too. Beach lovers will be disappointed as there wasn't a beach worth taking a Sun bath. Nevertheless we had a good time. What else do you expect with three women trotting all alone discovering the place with a new perspective. We interacted with the locals, mostly in sign language and broken English. Everybody spoke Tamil hence language may pose slight discomfort. But a traveller is always prepared for anything travelling throws at them.

We spent 4 days in Pondicherry taking in all the beauty the place had to offer and still wanted more. So just in case any of you are thinking about travelling in Winters then Pondicherry in Chennai is the place to be! 

Magnifique Fall

      It sounds quite like an oxymoron. On seconds thoughts, a Fall can be indeed magnificent if it is a beautiful waterfall or the season of Fall. My first encounter with the word Fall as a season was when I read aloud some of the finest pieces of poetry in our English prose syllabus. This was when I was in high school , quite a number of years ago. Well I can't be precise on the number of years for obvious reasons. It was my first introduction to Fall season and it's mesmerizing beauty that I visualized while reading through the work of some of the finest English poets. The rhyming stanzas with the choicest of English words made those poetry lines music to the ears and engulfed deep into my imagination. The other instance when I heard the usage of this word Fall was synonymous with the Fashion world. Like their Fall-Winter collection. So the impression I had, was that of a season of exquisite beauty. It is however one thing to visualize and then to get the opportunity of experiencing it real time. Just like watching a concert of your favourite band or singer on television versus attending it in person. It is always an out of the ordinary experience. When I reached US in the summer of 2015 I was still trying to get accustomed to a new country, new people, new almost everything. But just then, came the month of October and before I knew Fall season started!! One fine morning I saw the leaves of the tree right outside our house change its color. At first I assumed it was new flowers blooming but a closer look cleared the confusion. I went for a walk that very evening only to be mesmerized by natures haven. We live in New Jersey up north.  It is also popularly known as the Garden State. It now dawned upon me why it was named so. Truly the place turned into a riot of colors as Fall started. I have never seen so many different colors at the same time and at the same place. There were some places which literally felt like a Heaven on earth. I am sure for the native Americans it must be just another time of the year. But for me and I know of many like me, it was nature's bounty coming alive. All the poetry now seemed so relatable. Such scenic panoramic view would entice any person to desire to become a poet or a writer.  There is a slight nip in the air and the ground is strewn all over with fallen leaves. The perfect natural background to liven up your romance.

 This year we ventured out further up north to experience a myriad of Fall colors. My husband did a bit of research and came up with Catskill mountain trail , very popularly known for its Fall season. We wanted a short drive, scenic view and wanted to be back to our nest before dusk. With a toddler this seemed a fair deal for all three of us. So started our drive around 12pm and hit the entry of the mountaun trail in about an hour. The rest of the trail was a breathtaking scenic drive with colored mountains and trees on either side. I just wished I knew photography better to justify what my natural lenses captured but nevertheless , we soaked in its beauty throughout the day.  There were many resorts and cottages offering luxury stay amidst the lap of nature. But we were content with our plans and as dusk neared, we made our way back home only to relive the memories visualize every view as much as we can.... hopefully there will be more such happy days ahead!

With love to Daddy ~ Heaven & Above

Wish I could say thank you for one last time!

        It's my birthday month and while my husband got busy preparing surprises for my upcoming birthday I somehow didn't have a good feeling about it. It's rather strange. I have been known in my circle of friends to always have celebrated my birthday in a grand fashion. Post marriage my husband made sure the saga continued. In fact he almost reminded me of my father and the way he pampered on this special day. This year however it was a life changing month of August for me. Two weeks prior to my birth date early morning, I got a call from my brother in India. Daddy is no more! He said. Though I knew it was coming all along but I just could not make peace with it. Last two years have been excruciatingly difficult for him health wise. And on the 10th of Aug, at the crack of dawn, he passed away peacefully in his sleep. He was 84.

          The bestest time a daughter has in her lifetime is when she is in the cocoon of Daddy's kingdom. She is the ultimate princess. It's been so long yet beautiful memories never blur. Those days daddy was posted out of the city and his short monthly trips to home was something that I eagerly waited for. Though not realizing then, how much he meant to me and how much I valued him for what he has done for all of us. Despite the tiring journey to be with family he would embrace us with gifts and get down to check on our school progress reports. He never expressed happiness or displeasure on our academic performance but would say,  " you can do even better next time". I have fond memories of those evening outings that he would take me to.  My favourite activity was visiting the only park of the city, then, and feed the fishes in the pond after playtime in the swings and slides. The evening would end with a scrumptious meal at one of the restaurants in that area. Both of us loved Chinese food and I learnt to eat with a fork and knife from him. Such happy moments! Years later when I left home to pursue my career , distance made me distant from my father. Self centric as I had become , I slowly pushed away the most loving man of my life. I was drowning in the life of independence and getting used to the metropolitan living. In between there were few conversations with him over the phone , some nice some bitter. Nevertheless I loved him and yet there was a time I had a lot of resentment and anger towards him.

            Everybody is blessed with a father but it takes a lot to become a Daddy. Today when I am left with nothing but a flashback of sweet memories of Daddy, all I can recall is the ever so dutiful dad that he was, working hard to provide for the family , the very best that he could. He dedicated his entire life to his family, and when I say family I mean our extended paternal and maternal family. For him everybody was part of one big unit. I visited him two months before his demise. It was painful to see the man, who once toiled in the heat, sun and rain reduced to almost nothing.  The hardest part of growing up is seeing your parents grow old. Dad had become frail and feeble. He lost his vision and suffered from dementia. As I sat by his side trying to strike up a conversation,  I realized I was erased from his memory. He couldn't figure out who I was and why I called him daddy.  I felt a lump on my throat and yet I tried to remind him everyday for the next five days. It was all in vain. I returned back to the US, and I knew it was the last time I was seeing him alive! May his soul rests peacefully and may he be reborn with extreme good fortune and karma. I wish daddy that you be happy and spread happiness as you did always. Lots of love ~ forgotten daddy's little girl!

Cosmic Connections!

        On the 4th of July, I completed three years of married life. So much has happened in these three years that it seems I have time travelled to 10 years forward. I was reading an article today on Cosmic Connections and it made so much sense looking back at my past. For your reference here's the link ~

 http://educateinspirechange.org/spirituality/dont-meet-anyone-accident-5-types-cosmic-connections/

         Flashback fours years ago, it was the year 2013. One of my worst years and life had fallen into rock bottom. Someone once told me, when you hit the bottom, there's no other way but to come up. Almost close to being bankrupt,  jobless, failed investments and attempts to get back to earning a living again and to top it all, dealing with my father's failing health and fighting a legal case as old as 35 years for him. All at one time , it seemed like a living hell at that point in time with no hope of light at the end of the tunnel. It was during this phase, that I learnt to be the strongest, courageous and most importantly, to never give up on Hope! Dwayne Johnson once said, "If you are going through tough times, keep going. Be unstoppable." So I kept going, challenging myself as much as I could have. Sure enough the path became clearer, the solutions came pouring in and I met the right people at the right time. By the beginning of 2014 the storms subsided, life was calm and started getting smoother.

         I met my husband during this toughest phase of my life. Till date I do not know why he decided to marry me. I was at my lowest low and would barely dress up or put on make up. At times my days would be so hectic running around to fix things that I would meet him for a date in the evening, totally disheveled. He still found beauty in me. It was not  difficult for me to decide to marry him. We find people sharing your life in good times but ones who stand by you during the bad times are the people worth sharing your life with. We eventually got married in July 2014 and blessed with the most beautiful boy in Nov 2015.

           Every single meeting or encounter can serve a greater purpose in life. During our life's journey we shall be faced with the following five types of Cosmic connections.

1.Those meant to awaken us.
2.Those who remind us
3.Those help us to grow
4.Those who hold space for us
5.Those who stay

The events and the chanced upon meetings with people from various walks of life during my crisis helped immensely to overcome the challenges. Some awakened me, some were reminders of worthy lessons, long forgotten, some helped me grow and discover my own potential and some who shall stay forever, like my husband! So do not get disillusioned when you are faced with betrayal, breach of trust at any level, being taken for granted, because these people in your life will help you eventually win a greater battle. They help prepare you for the unseen. Though the resultant maybe inconspicuous. But sooner or later you will discover the hidden benefits.

Happy to meet my childhood🤡

Teaneck Carnival, NJ

   
          The child within each of us longs for the carefree life we left far behind. But as we reach different milestones, the longing to go back to those days of living a free spirited soul is burdened with many roles that each one of us has to play. I had long forgotten those days of taking pleasure in the most simplest of all things. I started working just after I graduated.  It was compelling for me to be financially independent more than having a career or goal in life. I took up the first job I cracked. But till today, I feel proud to look back on my decision to join a company which in the later years were extremely formative in making me the person who I am today. Though I did enjoy working a lot but few years later , life became quite robotic professionally. It was 14 years later that I finally got married having found the right choice to partner for life. Till then I never knew what marriage would be like. Surprisingly it had a great start and it added a spark with the birth of my baby boy. As I struggled alone to learn about motherhood and putting my best foot forward, never ever did I imagine I would relive my childhood once again through my own child.
                       

Van Saun County Park, NJ

            Every day when I take my little boy for a walk or to play in the children's park , memories of my childhood come flashing by. I remembered on one of such instances how much I used to love feeding fishes. My daddy would take me to the only park that used to be there in our city, across the college I studied. Every Sunday, we played see saw, slides and swings. Finally our last stop would be by the pond of golden fishes and Daddy would buy me food to feed the fish. Such precious memories were long forgotten until I started enjoying life through the eyes of my little one. I am a stay at home mother for the last 1.5 years. I have been thanking God's grace to have given me this time that I could enjoy every little thing of my baby's daily life. The special ones shall always be our outings together. The child in me has come alive and it is a wonderful feeling to be in the moment, just enjoying the smile that you can put on your child's face. I love the slow pace that I am in, simply gazing at the sky or nature makes me wonder if I ever appreciated mother earth as much as I do now. I find beauty in many little things that I see everyday and how I wish this could lasts till eternity.

          Esplanade, Las Vegas         

         However I am not sure how long this would last. Well someday I have to be back to the grind again. Until then, I am busy making hay while the sun shines merrily 🤗

Sweetest Sixteen since 16!!

      I do not recall much about my sixteenth birthday and year, except that it was another day and a whole year. The struggles remained the same. Getting through high school with good grades if possible, no dreams or aspirations, a confused teen cursing for not being intelligent enough, pretty enough, fair enough, or to be a wannabe at the least for a day. Yes, it is indeed the story of more or less most teenage kids back then and I guess even now. Just that the amount of confusion  in teenagers have risen alarmingly, that's  what I feel observing them these days. Parenting, on the other hand, has evolved to a great extent and parents now, are much more informed and willingly go that extra mile for their children. I missed all of that in my parents though. We just grew up like any other kids in the neighborhood and our parents never worried about our adolescent trials and tribulations, the many struggles we had with our inner voice and no parent to share with because these weren't issues for them that mattered at all. Infact they were not issues at all. The emotional connect was completely missing. Today I see so many of my mates from school and college giving it all to parenting. Coming back to myself, I had serious doubts ever since I conceived. I used to even have nightmares of not being a good enough parent. However things were different now, I wasn't as confused as I was growing up to be sixteen and even when the confusion rolled over to my early twenties. A good decade plus of work experience, meeting people from different walks of life, being a listener , reading books and inspirational write ups, made up for some amount of that mentorship I always sought but never had. Surely I didn't feel as helpless as I used to then, for I knew that the greatest of all achievements was in overcoming one's fears. Hence no matter how much I feared, that I may not be a good enough mother, I still worked my way through it.

         Some of the basic things I did was of course to reach out to my friends who had by then, become an ace in parenting , some of my cousins as well and referred to the book," What to expect when you are expecting?" Of all the options the Paedritician and my friends practical hands on experience helped the most. Nevertheless the book was still useful. The only part that I didn't approve of, in the book, was that it gave too much information about what could go wrong in each stage of pregnancy. Though it is good to be informed but for souls like me, who could easily be swayed into pessimism, I preferred to read more on the brighter side of pregnancy. If anything at all has to go wrong in the whole nine months of evolution process, I would deal with it anyway. Having said that, the book still added to my limited, to almost no knowledge about pregnancy and parenting. It certainly helped. Infact any help or positive advice during this phase was more than welcome. I took one day at a time, did not overload with too much information but kept myself open to any learning. The biggest difficulty was however our shift of base from India to USA which I did not realize immediately. The birth of a child itself is such a paradigm shift of life for a mother, having to deal with many aspects never known. So any help in the form of maid, cook or family members, is the biggest relief. Unlike in a country like USA where you have to be multi tasking between the role of a nanny cum cook cum cleaner cum host. It indeed becomes a daunting experience. I hardly ever cooked before marriage and post marriage we had a cook and a part time maid. Life was easy. The whole equation changed the moment we landed in America. Every household work has to be done by you. Of course you can hire cleaners and cook, but unfortunately we didn't have that privilege as it was too expensive.I had to step into the shoes of multi tasking all household chores. Of course my husband would chip in, and I slowly started to get a hang of it though I was still far behind.

        Finally the day dawned when I held my baby boy in my arms. Weighing a mere 5.11Lbs (2.3Kgs) and arriving three and a half weeks early he still looked such a handsome little man and by God's grace perfectly healthy. He was tiny and I remember being scared of holding him. The moment he was born, he gave birth to a new, me. There were no excuses , even if I didn't know an iota of parenting. It was simply expected that I would know it all. But to tell you the truth, changing diapers, to feeding, to changing clothes, bathing, putting baby to sleep, every damn task was alien. But I learned and I learnt it with patience and eagerness. I was so happy from the moment I set my eyes on my little magic, that I was willing to learn and unlearn anything and everything to make each day a happy one for him. Thanks to friends, Internet and social media, interactions across globe helped me pulled through the toughest phase. And the instructional designers who do a great job of visual explanation of how to do things behind every little stuff we bought for our child. Starting from diaper change to clothing, to feeding bottles, every instruction would be in detail. And that helped immensely. My husband was helpful too but men would be men. As much as he tried to learn himself, he still preferred cooking and cleaning over babysitting, feeding or for that matter anything to do with the baby except for napping together😎 Both of them loved snoring and napping away.
                     

Far from the Maddening crowd

   
      Today my little boy completes 16 whole months! As I look back on the sixteen months gone by in a flash, I realized it was the most fulfilling, satisfying, full of love, exhilarating months of my life. Forgot to mention, the most tiring, exhausting beyond compare, overwhelming, at times nightmarish in broad daylight, insane but these negative feelings were tucked behind somewhere in comparison to what I received from learning to be a mother to my handsome child. He is a happy, energetic, lively, bright eyed honey toddler with the most beautiful smile that could melt any heart. It has been and will continue to be on top of the world feeling probably forever. Not because that I became a mother but because I quite successfully nurtured him all alone through these months and still managed to keep him safe and alive. Why I say alive is something that only mothers will understand? The kind of tumbles, falls that infants and toddlers manage to survive, sometimes makes you wonder if at all they are made fall proof :-)  Nevertheless it is the best sixteen months that it has turned out to be since I turned 16 decades ago!